Pearl Harbor Day

Today is Pearl Harbor Day. This is the first time in many years (at least 10) that we haven't been in Hawaii for Pearl Harbor Day. We didn't go there to commemorate that event--we went there to get sunshine and celebrate our wedding anniversary. We have met several survivors of Pearl Harbor, though, over the years and have done the tour of the USS Arizona Memorial 3 times. We talked with several veterans 8 years ago when there was a big reunion celebration. I remember talking to a woman who worked at the hospital near Pearl and said the bombing was the most devastating experience in her life. She lost many friends and saw some horrible things. I also talked to a fellow who must have been in the USS Oklahoma when the attack started. He said it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to him. He was sleeping below deck after a night out. His ship capsized after being bombed and he was stuck upside down for 2 days. He could hear workers trying to rescue him. I talked to him about how he felt and how he spent the time waiting to be rescued. He thought of his family, of course, and wanted to tell his mother that he loved her. I asked what happened afterward, once he was pulled out. He said that he went on to serve in another theater in the Pacific, then returned home safely. This fellow was one of the most cheerful persons I've met. He was thankful for what he had and for his family and friends. He went on to have a successful career in sales and was still going strong at age 82. Same event, different framing!

I might go on to say that how we frame events influences how we remember them. Why do some people react to trauma so differently than others? Today I discovered that a neighbor here in Tucson is going through a rough time. We just found out that her mortgage was foreclosed and her house was sold, even though she contested the sale. She is about our age, worked as a nurse until her knee bothered her too much, and has been waiting for her knee operation in January. Her daughter took time off work to help her sort through her things and pack. I bumped into the daughter--otherwise I don't know if our neighbor would have let word get out around our street. Her daughter was upset, but our neighbor was remarkably calm. I wonder if she is framing it in a positive light. I'm going to help her pack tomorrow and will be a good listener. I'll miss her!